Confession…I worry that my life will not leave an impact on the world. I worry my past pain will have not purpose. I realize as I type the words, they are not true. I know in my head they are silly worries to have. I know that the small things we do have a lasting impact. However, I still have moments in my day that I doubt that truth.
I actually started writing this post early this morning and by this afternoon I had a small confirmation that God intends to honor my desire to impact this world in some small way. He reminded me that He intends to redeem the past pain.
It’s conference time at school and we often see many stories unfold. The one that touches my heart the deepest is the one that mirrors my story. The story of the kid who has challenges due to genetics, illness, abandonment, or trauma. My heart screams as I watch parents walk out unsure of what to do to help their child. My feet threaten to chase them to the parking lot as I watch them walk defeated to their cars. I fight my arms as they threaten to rise and hug the student who knows he’s broken and wants so badly to give what he feels incapable of giving. In my job, I can’t do those things. It crosses a line, but what I can do is encourage. I can speak words. I can share information. I can pass on resources. I do it more than I probably ought to, but what would you do?
Today I had the honor of speaking encouraging words, hopefully, to such a family. I love being able to see sparks of hope as I remind them that even though their student isn’t performing to everyone else’s standards, said child is a tender-hearted person. Something is working in that home. Schoolwork is just a challenge to face and hopefully overcome. I was thanked and it was nice to know that my words could help.
Today God reminded me that redemption is His business! The experiences we have had, He’s using them. The pain we thought would kill us, didn’t because He was there. The challenges we faced that we didn’t think would have a successful outcome, are starting to look less daunting in the light of how amazing He is. We still have a long way to go in this journey but we are moving forward. The funny thing is, if I had not experienced that pain, I would have no idea how hard that situation is. I would have no idea how to encourage. And I wonder sometimes, if I would even care. That is a sad thought. I do not regret the pain and I do not wish it had never been. Watching God redeem it has been a great blessing.
Until another confession…