Special Needs

No confessions today. Only me, sharing my heart.

There is so much I want to share and yet they are all getting tangled up in my mind and I can’t seem to focus on the right words to use.

My heart lately has been aching for the mothers of kids who are deemed “special needs”. I don’t know how many of you are out there, but this post is for you.

You are a good mother. God has trusted you with one of His precious hearts. You are a good mother.

As the mother of a challenged kid, you will cry over your child. You will fight for and with your child. You will study your child to find out how to best help your child. You will change menus, buy books, rearrange schedules, and reorganize nearly everything. You will work hard to help people see your child as you see your child. You will get frustrated with people who refuse to see your child as anything other than “difficult”. You will love your child deeply and profoundly. You will dread school, because let’s face it, school is hell for kids like ours. You will overcome that dread and send them anyway. You will see grades that make you smile, you will see grades that make you cry. You will work with countless people who either get it or don’t get it. You will advocate for your child, even when you are tired and just want to quit. You won’t quit. You will keep on advocating because you know, it is your job to do. You will do all this in hopes of your child seeing themselves as the gift God created them to be. You will try to make your voice louder than the lies they will believe about themselves. You will pray and pray and then pray some more. You will cling to God, even though sometimes you don’t understand why.

You see, you will do this because God picked you on purpose to be this kids mom. You were handpicked. So, do your job because God, who created the heavens and the earth, is there to do His job. God is God over your child’s life, just like He is God over yours. Hang in there. You are not alone.

 

 

 

 

Our Son

I don’t normally write about my kids.  I write about the things I learn as a parent, but I try to keep specifics out of it. My son  faces health and educational challenges, I’ve not talked about that too much here. His story is his and I’ve promised him to always ask permission before I share any part of his story. I’ve asked his permission to share it now. He has graciously consented.

Confession…my son has a learning obstacle. We’ve had some suspicions, and they were confirmed one week ago. We’ve known for some time that there is something behind the struggles he has with school, but because of the nature of his brain injuries early in life, and the learning obstacle discovered,  it’s been very difficult to pinpoint. After some testing, we now have some answers. At last!

We’ve been searching for the past 3 years to find an answer to his learning style. We’ve researched different techniques, we’ve read books, we’ve studied his habits, we’ve made some dietary changes…we’ve tried LOTS of different things. It’s been hard. It’s been taxing. There were many nights I knelt at my bedside and prayed for insight and wisdom. There were many nights I cried because I didn’t’ know how to help my son understand his homework. We fought with him. We blamed him for not trying hard enough. We negotiated. And ultimately, we tried again to understand.

What I’ve learned during this experience is that his dad and I are his best advocates. We’ve lived with him for 14 years. We’ve watched him struggle with life. We’ve watched him overcome obstacles. We’ve held him while he’s faced fears. We’ve rejoiced with him as he overcame some of those same fears. His dad and I have learned that he needs people in his corner cheering for him. He needs us to be his partners as he faces life’s challenges. He needs us to be his historians. He needs us to remember the stories of his life and retell them to him when he forgets. He needs us to remind him that he is wonderfully created by God and that the same God has some really cool plans for him. He needs us to teach him how to run to God with problems and victories.

We’ve always treated our son as though he could do anything. We’ve challenged him to face the obstacles, no matter how big they seemed. We’ve found techniques that helped him to keep up with kids his age. He’s tired and weary. He’s felt like it’s never going to be enough. He’s not a big fan of school….at all. And we honestly, can’t blame him.

It’s good to have some answers, but we know there is more work ahead of us. We know that he will have to work harder than others to learn. He will have to work harder to overcome this obstacle. We also know that God will be there with him as he does that work. And we know that we will be there too. We know that God has been faithful to our son. We know that God has divinely appointed every step of his life. We look back on the various people who have come in and out of his life and see the fingerprints of God all over his story. From the kindergarten teacher who challenged me to look at my son with God’s eyes, to the fellow coach who challenged us to consider one school over another. From his first resource teacher who encouraged us to consider a 504 plan to the recent resource teacher who picked my brain about our son and eventually suggested the testing….God has been there every second of his life.

We are excited to see how God will use our son and his story. We are proud to be witnesses to his life.

Until another confession…