I Suck At Learning

Confession..I’m learning so much this year. I’m learning about who I am and who I am not. I am learning how to be honest with myself and those around me. I’m learning about my limitations and my aspirations. I’m learning how to write poetry. It’s a lot of learning. It’s good, however, I am not a graceful learner. I’m actually quite a stubborn and infuriating learner. So for those of you who were my teachers and might be reading this post (you too mom), I’m so sorry. God has a special blessing for you, I just know it

I like to know things. I really do. I like to research and study. BUT I suck at learning. I don’t much care for the practical application that learning requires.  Taking the information you’ve found and applying it to whatever situation you’re in is necessary to the learning process. Failing and making mistakes is a great way to discover what works and what doesn’t work. Yeah…I’m not into all that. I don’t like mistakes and I don’t like failing. I like to succeed and I like to do things the right way…all the time. However, I can’t really learn if I don’t make mistakes. I can’t learn if I never try. I can’t test my ideas if I don’t put them into action.So, here’s the truth I’m wrestling with right now: Failure is an option and it’s necessary to the learning process.

You see, I’m afraid. I’m afraid to fail. Why? I DON’T KNOW! I’m sure I could come up with a thousand reasons why, but really, they aren’t very good. Really! I’m pretty good at rationalizing things and I’m coming up short. Fear itself keeps me from trying. And you know what is ironic (maybe it’s just a funny thing, but I wanted to use the word ironic) I get to frustrated with people who allow fear to play them like a string puppet. I meet so many people who are afraid to try because they are afraid to fail. And because they are afraid to fail, their lives stay the same and they get frustrated and eventually they get very, very sad. Stop it! We need to stop it. I’m done. Sorry for the abrupt end. Maybe that’s a mistake…

Until another confession…

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