Preserve me O God, for in you I take refuge. ~Psalms 16:1
Life changes from one moment to the next. One moment you’re in chaos, the next you are in peace. One moment you have a job, the next you are jobless. One moment you are alone, the next you have a friend. One moment you have a plan, the next plans have to change. Nothing is guaranteed. It is the nature of life. We do have options on how to respond. We can fight the change, we can embrace change, or we can ignore change. Unfortunately, I usually go for the fight change option. However, lately, I’ve been trying to ignore the change going on around me.
As I read Psalm 16:1, it got me to thinking that maybe there was truth here that I was missing. I began to ask God to show me what truth was there.
“Preserve me O God, for in you I take refuge.”
I don’t default to taking refuge in God. I default to working, rule following, hiding, worrying, and judging.
I work as a way of distracting my mind.
I rule follow as a way of absolving myself from sin.
I hide as away of protecting my heart.
I worry as a way of dealing with the sin in my life.
I judge as a way of feeling powerful and in control when I don’t think God has my best interest at heart.
The problem is, I am at the center and God…well I imagine He’s right next to me smiling and waiting for me to realize I need help with my out of control life and behavior.
I do need help. I need someone who will preserve me, someone to protect me, someone to observe me and rescue me from my own crazy behavior.
Preserve me O Lord, in you I take refuge. I take refuge in You. What an image that evokes for me. When my kids were little, and their surroundings were too much for them they would run to us and climb up into our arms. We would hold them and comfort them. Why don’t I do that? Life is overwhelming and often I stand alone. I push people away. I push God away. Rather than run to Him and confide in Him, I hide. Rather than seek comfort and security in His love, I stick out my chin and attempt to muscle through. Why? Well, that is a post for another day.
Until another confession…