Confession…this was a BAD week. It was the kind of week that makes me question who I am, what I am doing and why. It was the kind of week where I wonder if maybe…I am the problem. It was the kind of week that makes me want to quit and hide. I came real close MANY times this week to quitting.
Then today, God whispers to my heart…I have not abandoned you. He then led me to the following passage:
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the nigh also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul the Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
I chose to follow God. I choose to serve Him everyday. Our prayer for our family every morning is that we would look for find and be the gospel in our world. It was hard this week. My own desires and my God desires had a knock down drag out fight this week. My base desires wanted to do the godly thing but my pride wanted to sin, and sin big. My poor family and friends were contacted so much this week as I called our for prayer frequently! But I knew I needed backup. The fight I was facing, I couldn’t do it alone!
Those prayers and the responses I received from my family and friends were a reminder of how the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Their outpouring of love and support reminded me that I have a beautiful inheritance.
I do bless the Lord who gives me counsel. Sometimes it came in the form of co-workers who share my faith. Often it came from the reminders by my husband to stay the course by my husband. My heart is glad and my whole being rejoices. I have not been abandoned and despite my desire to be corrupted by bitterness and ugly words, God kept me.
I felt His presence this week and TODAY there is fullness of joy. Amid the chaos of the week, there were evidences of God’s love and evidences of His promises kept! I shall not be shaken.
You know, as I recount this week, I’ve changed my mind. It was a hard week and it was a good week. God was with me. He sent His people to love on me in the form of words, hugs, milkshakes, cupcakes, text messages, fb messages. How can a week of so much love be bad? Yup, I changed my mind. It was a good week.
Until another confession…