MISTAKES WILL BE MADE, PERFECTION IS UNREALISTIC
The next thing we strive to remember as we parent, is that God is the ultimate parent. He parents us. He is the perfect parent with imperfect children. How is it then that we expect to have perfect children as imperfect parents?!
The Bible says that all have sinned…all fall short of the glory of God. WE ALL DO IT! Young and old alike. Why are we so surprised when our kids sin? We, as adults, have a hard time saying no to sin in our lives. We, as adults, have a difficult time rejecting sin and embracing God. So why, please tell me why, do we expect our kids to be perfect and without sin. Are they not modeling what we are demonstrating with our lives? They are kids, taking their cues from us. If we are stubborn and rebellious towards God why are we so surprised when they are stubborn and rebellious towards us?
I am speaking from experience here. I remember a few years back. E-girl must have been 5 or 6. God had been dealing with me about sin in my life and I was actively being disobedient. I didn’t want to hear what He was telling me and I was being quite defiant. It was during that time, that E-girl was prone to fits and tantrums. One day, she was in the middle of a full flown tantrum. You know the ones, with the kicking and screaming…throwing themselves on the floor…immovable, unreasonable. I was just about done with the behavior and called out to God to do something about it. I remember hearing deep inside of me these words
What would you have me do? She is responding to your leadership they way you have been responding to mine. She’s throwing a physical tantrum and you’ve been throwing a spiritual tantrum. Tell me what would you have me do?
Not cool, God. Not cool. I knew what I was hoping God would do with me. I responded how I prayed He would respond to my disobedience. At that moment, I sat down on the floor next to her, picked her up, tantrum and all, and held her. I remember crying with her as I repented and prayed.
Even today, we are in the middle of a full on war of the wills with my sweet sweet boy. He is pushing and we are working hard to stand strong in our love for him. I’m not gonna lie, I want to demand perfection from him. I want him to bend to my will. It is taking everything within me not to yell, threaten, and intimidate. It is taking all the patience I have to remember that I am not the Holy Spirit for him. I can’t bring about true heart change. I can only pray and obey. I pray that God would soften his heart and show him how much he is loved by us and most of all God. I obey by not yelling or threatening or using my words to hurt him. It’s hard! I love him but my fear gets the better of me and that’s when I start to sin. Fear must have the light of God’s truth applied to it if I am to remain focused on our goal: Raising people who fall in love with God.
Our kids will make mistakes, and the mistakes now are a little more serious. Our goal during this season isn’t to shame, belittle, alienate, or reject our kids when they make mistakes. Our goal is to love them as God loves us. God loves us sin and all. He doesn’t ask us to get our act together before He lavishes love on us. Quite the contrary, often He loves us in the midst of our filth and rebellion. His love is what brings us to our senses. Our prayer is that we remember that our kids are sinners in need of a big God…just as we are sinners in need of a big God.