Today’s confession…when I am trying to keep silent on an issue, I am silent on ALL issues. How does that happen?! And worse, I try to fill my mouth with food as a barrier for the words I long to hold hostage. Ugg! This is not the realization I wanted to have this week.
I have not always been wise with my words. As a matter of fact, I have used my words to do some damage. Sometimes I have used them knowingly. Sometimes I just use them obliviously. The constant is that when my words come out without the prompting of the Holy Spirit, damage gets done and I am called on to repent and apologize. My humanity does not enjoy either one of those practices, but I realize that my claim to be a child of God requires I am an expert in both habits.
As the Holy Spirit has pressed upon my heart to be wise with my words and wait for His prompting, I’ve learned the tedious task of keeping my mouth shut. BUT being the ever extremist I am I’ve gone too far. I know why I do it. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to insult anyone. I don’t want to make anyone feel as though they are less and I am more. AND I don’t want to have to apologize. I am a sinner and I know it. I am a broken woman with a broken heart. I need the love of a God who is so much more patient and kind than I can ever hope to be. However, when my words come out sometimes, none of that is conveyed. All that is heard is my harshness, my callousness, and my disregard. So what do I do to avoid others hearing those things? I keep my mouth shut. I don’t speak. I don’t use my words. AND I sin by not speaking when I am prompted to speak. I am not trusting God and I am not being obedient.
I share it here because I know I can’t be the only one who has this problem. You all are just not talking about it either. Let’s knock that off! There is no way our hearts can be regenerated if we don’t admit that our hearts need some help. We all need help! You’re not the only one who is broken. You’re not the only one who needs help! You are not alone. There is a God who loves you and is able to help you far beyond what you imagine. Open your mouth and ask for help….said the pot to the kettle.
Until the next confession…