Confession…I’ve been fighting numbness of heart for quite some time. In December, I allowed my heart to slip into a coma. I allowed it to happen in an effort to minimize the effects of the events taking place. I’ve been systematically shutting myself off to the world outside of my home. Everyone close to me seemed to notice it but me. I’ve allow myself moments of life. I indulge in my family, but I stop there. Life hurts and it doesn’t ever seem to stop hurting. As a Christian, how do I respond? I hear voices calling me to sadness, depression, numbness, and callousness. I rage against it, but I feel as though I rage as a madwoman beating the air against an invisible enemy. What is my enemy? What lie am I raging against? It is the lie that my obedience is futile. It means nothing to anyone. So, what is the point? BUT…what if that thought is a lie? The deal is, though, that Romans 6:16-23 talks of us being slaves to Jesus and our hearts are changed by His love and His spirit to compel us to righteousness which is in conflict with our flesh which is prone to sin. We are at war with ourselves. But because we have become slaves to Christ we wage that war with the help of His Holy Spirit. The lie that threatens to become my truth is contrary to what God says about me. So how to I fight this war? How do I fight the lie? I must be willing to do what Paul calls us to do in his second letter to the Corinthians.
For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.
I have not destroyed the arguments and lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God. I’ve entertained them and treated them to coffee. I’ve agreed with their logic and given validity to their point of view. I have not been ready to take every thought captive to obey Christ and have indulged disobedience. I have believed the lie. My sinful heart. I am so happy to know that His blood covers me.
Oh! precious is the flow that makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know, nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Until another confession…